Thursday, October 2, 2014
Attachment. A word I use a lot. I'm like the overly attached girlfriend, I easily grow attached to clothes, cards from friends/family, even papers from high school that have nothing but scribble marks on them. But something that I grow really attached to are people. Not just people I know or don't know, but people who are genuinely nice to me. That sounds weird and yes, it is a little weird. I grew up not having a lot of friends, and if I had friends they were very rarely nice. Then at the end of my high school career I became really good friends with someone. He was really nice to me and in return I became annoying. I started texting him all the time and was always talking about him. It got to the point where everyone thought I was in love with this guy. Maybe I liked him at first, but it ended as soon as it started. After that happened, I realized who I am and what happens to me when someone treats me differently. I want to be with that person a lot because I felt happy and accepted. But then I get annoying and will start wanting to talk to them all the time. I'm really embarrassed when I realize what I've done and I hate myself that I didn't catch myself sooner. I'm scared that it's going to ruin friendships. I feel like its a curse that I now have deal with. I don't understand why I do this and like I said, its embarrassing! I feel now would be a good time put my trust in God and know he's got it under control. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." I just need to trust that God has a handle on everything and that everything happens for a reason.