As I was driving home tonight, I stopped at a light and started praying. I started praying for my family, friends, and everyone else. I then started praying for specific things and thats when it hit me. Our good friend is dying. Now youre probably thinking, woah Lauren, lets take a step back into positive town. We don't need no negative nancy here! But it's true, as much as I would love to say something else, reality is he's going to die. It finally hit me and I started crying. I asked God why? Why do you do this? Why do you take the good things away from us? First you take Mr. Quiroz, then Miss Heather, then Zach Quiroz, and now possibly Mr. Drinkward?? Why! That's when I stopped crying and remembered, this isn't the end. This is just a pit stop on our way to an amazing, eternal life! But as incredibly awesome as that is, while were stopped here we grow strong bonds with people. Bonds that when broken are hard to handle. We grow up with these people and just like that, theyre gone. Theyve been taken away from us. I sometimes get a little jealous when I think about how much fun theyre having up there. But then I get angry because theyre not down here having fun with us. Sometimes we dont agree with what God has done or is still doing, but he has our whole life figured out already. This is just a pit stop before we get to spend eternal life with some awesome people!
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Attachment. A word I use a lot. I'm like the overly attached girlfriend, I easily grow attached to clothes, cards from friends/family, even papers from high school that have nothing but scribble marks on them. But something that I grow really attached to are people. Not just people I know or don't know, but people who are genuinely nice to me. That sounds weird and yes, it is a little weird. I grew up not having a lot of friends, and if I had friends they were very rarely nice. Then at the end of my high school career I became really good friends with someone. He was really nice to me and in return I became annoying. I started texting him all the time and was always talking about him. It got to the point where everyone thought I was in love with this guy. Maybe I liked him at first, but it ended as soon as it started. After that happened, I realized who I am and what happens to me when someone treats me differently. I want to be with that person a lot because I felt happy and accepted. But then I get annoying and will start wanting to talk to them all the time. I'm really embarrassed when I realize what I've done and I hate myself that I didn't catch myself sooner. I'm scared that it's going to ruin friendships. I feel like its a curse that I now have deal with. I don't understand why I do this and like I said, its embarrassing! I feel now would be a good time put my trust in God and know he's got it under control. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." I just need to trust that God has a handle on everything and that everything happens for a reason.